In the last few days, maybe the past couple of weeks even, I’ve been missing Italy a little more…and more. I knew our time of living there would pass by very fast and I knew I would just start enjoying and adjusting to it when it was time to up and leave. BUT DAMN, it’s really over. This reality is finally hitting home. And I gotta say, that kinda sucks.
Oh I know, I truly, TRULY have Zilch to complain about, and I’m not really complaining here as I’ll be the first to admit that I have one hell of a blessed life. Two healthy (and might I add BEAUTIFUL, not that that matters of course) children, an out of this world fantastic, understanding (he IS married to me!) husband, living in a great neighborhood full of children and wonderful neighbors where there are no hurricanes, no earthquakes, no lethal snakes or scorpions (jab jab Mom and Nick), mudslides, etc. Life is honestly awesome.
But…..once you get a taste for something so different, and EVEN IF it SUCKS at first, and you’re crying to your husband that I’M GOING HOME NOW and I’M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN and I HATE IT HERE where I CAN’T UNDERSTAND A F*#@ING THING ANYBODY SAYS and I CAN’T EVEN GET MY CHILDREN TO THE DOCTOR BY MYSELF, and I can’t believe WE’RE AT THE F*#@ING HOSPITAL AGAIN?? and I CAN’T EVEN ORDER A TAXI OVER THE PHONE BECAUSE THEY HANG UP ON ME and NOT ONE DAMN PERSON CAME OVER TO SEE IF WE NEEDED HELP WHILE MY SON SCREAMED IN MY ARMS AFTER FALLING FROM A FIVE FOOT PLATFORM ON THE PLAYSET and THEY STOLE MY WALLET OUT OF MY PURSE WHILE IT WAS ON MY BODY and…
Wait, what was I saying, I miss it? Yes I do. After childbirth and rearing, moving to Italy was one of the biggest challenges of my life. Big challenges do not come without frustration, stress and moments of weakness when you want to quit. That’s what makes it a challenge. In fact I did read in some of the expat literature that, in terms of stress level only, being an expatriate was similar to divorce and death and is particularly stressful on a marriage.
But that’s also what is making this so difficult to just walk away from and never go back. I spent over a year thinking about, deciding about, freaking about, learning about, moving to, living in and adjusting to Italy. Then when I started to get the hang of things, after SO much frustration, and really REALLY began to ENJOY it, I had to leave it all behind. All that time spent on Italy is exactly what makes it so tremendously hard to just one day walk out of our awesome Italian apartment in such a rush I barely took note of the moment until we were in the taxi on our way to the airport, board a plane and leave Italy all behind.
Meggie’s previous dance instructor was an expat in London and warned me before moving over that moving back to the US was MUCH more difficult than moving and adjusting to London. Now, I do think we had a bit of extenuating circumstance what with all the hospital visits, falls, allergies, etc. Dealing with all of that in a foreign speaking country was something I hope NEVER to do again. In fact, those awful experiences made moving back easy at first, ENGLISH BABY! but each day my Italian experience is farther away and I admit, when I think about it, it makes me feel pretty darn sad.
Before leaving Milan, I mentioned to several of my Italian friends and at least one Italian stranger (a young, friendly girl who worked at the shoe boutique that Thank God happened to be along our way to the grocery store and only ten feet away when Meggie’s shoe decided to fall apart rendering it nothing more than a piece of material under her foot) that I was really going to miss living in Milano. Some of the responses to my comment were “WHY?” from one friend with a sneer upon his face and “What IS there to miss?” from another friend, and from the girl at the shoe store “You’re the First!” Well, it is only appropriate to have a list of reasons.
- our fabulous apartment spacious enough for Meggie to ride her bike throughout (at close to full speed!)
- walking walking everyday everywhere
- surrounded by (a beautiful) foreign language and trying to learn a foreign language and understanding that language more everyday
- Uberstylish men and women (in hose and heels) riding their bicycles to work (or even just to the park!)
- our dry cleaner who said, while handing over to me my 100 euro dry cleaning order to take home, “la prossima”, I could pay him “next” time since I didn’t have the money with me that time, I promise you that will NEVER happen to me in Oxford.
- taking the metro, trolley, bus
- mountains within half an hour
- numerous countries all within short driving distance
- aperitivo, aperitivo, apertivo
- wine, wine, wine
- inexpensive, fantastic, food (esp olive oil and vinegar!)
- Panino Giusto five minutes walking away!
- Parco Pallavicino
- Parco Sempione
- Duomo
- Running around and near Parco Sempione/Arena Civica/Castello Sforzeca/Cadorna Train Station/Via Vittore
- Hearing “Brava” as I jog past (so what if it was elderly Italian men??)
- Via Alberto da Giussano, 17
- Spongebob Squarepants in German no matter where we vacation. (Bitta? NEIN! Bitta? NEIN! Bitta? NEIN!)
- Siena
- Nice
- Dolomiti
- ONE snow shower the entire winter through, that started around midnight and melted before the sun came up the next day
- Buon Giorno, Buonsera, Grazie, BASTA, Prego, Sacchetti? La Giostra, Babo Natale,
- Carnevale
- Carla (our English accented navigation voice who led us to and through some of the most scenic regions I’ll ever visit)
- Last but for sure FIRST in reasons I miss Italy, the fantastic people I have had the great fortune to meet and become good friends with who I know will come to MI to see us! YES, THIS MEANS YOU SARA, RAFFAELLA, STEFANIE! All of you and your beautiful children made our stay fantastic and I owe you all so much and will always be so grateful that you took me in under your wing and helped me so many times in so many ways when I had nothing to give back.
and I could go on, but it’s really getting late here….
OK, so maybe there is a short list of things that I really won’t miss…
- electrical plug adaptors
- not understanding the language
- Being woken up by REALLY loud scooters that drive past our window
- Being woken up by REALLY loud sirens that drive past our window
- mosquitos that leave huge mountains of red on my children
- deciphering labels in Italian,
- dog poop all over the sidewalk
- crazy, fast drivers
- drivers who don’t even let their foot off the gas pedal even when approaching small children near the street
- scooters manuevering all around you while you drive, coming seemingly out of nowhere
- seeing men lying in the street next to their scooter after being blasted by a car
- coming up to a puddle on the sidewalk and knowing it’s probably NOT from rain
- being passed by elderly (yes ELDERLY) women in heels trying to catch the bus while going for my jog (numerous occurrences)
- wearing some of my best attire, only to feel as though I didn’t get the memo that it was “FASHION DAY” (of course, that’s pretty much how I feel anywhere)
Well, I suppose at least when I have a huge drought in posting, I make up for it with a HUGE post. Go State! (One more thing that I was REALLY glad to come home to… MSU FOOTBALL!! GO GREEN BABY!)